Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
