You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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