are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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