Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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