The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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