Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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