Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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