do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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