Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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