Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
