your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The Olympian is in my bed
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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