I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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