Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
