found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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