I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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