if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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