the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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