Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
