you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
