apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Be still, my beating vagina.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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