if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
