Yo dont text me then not text me
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize