I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize