I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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