Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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