It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just invented taco cereal.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
