Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize