i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
