So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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