i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
