i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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