I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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