I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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