That's intense
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
