your thong is hanging out like whoa
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize