Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize