He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
