Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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