it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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