summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
