She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
