Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
