i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
