now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
