Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize