But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
