I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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