The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
