Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
false alarm. still invincible.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
