But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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