No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
