I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
