Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
