I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
