I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize