NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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