She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
