Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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