is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Congratulations! We have a period
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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