So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
