My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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