I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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