So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
